Be Interested, Not Interesting

A Linguistic Reflection on Connection and Power

In conversation, we often overlook how subtle word choices shape perception. One such phrase—“Be interested, not interesting”—sounds like pop-psychology advice, but at its core lies a fascinating linguistic truth. These two words, interested and interesting, though nearly identical in form, operate on different grammatical and psychological planes.

I spent quite a while fascinated by this advice, trying to grasp it which is how we ended up here again: a continued analysis of the language I use and others use around me to help refine their worldview. I’m a strong believer in words mattering, and word choice and patterns matter for understanding each other.

Interested is a past participle, used to describe the internal state of a person who is experie…